Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Hello my rib-scented angel!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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