i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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