Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
