one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
