I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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