Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
