i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
