I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
