I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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