i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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