I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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