so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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