i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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