Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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