And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
