i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
