Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
