My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I touched a dick in church today
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize