2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
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I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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