Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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