A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize