belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just pee around me
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
