I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
not ubering you a puppy
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
