What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
