I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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