i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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