Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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