I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
