it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
