i need an iv and a liver transplant
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
