I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
