i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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