Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
