The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
