you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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