I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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