when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
