just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
