Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I think my fart just growled at me.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
