Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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