dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
