You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
