i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
