I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
