I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
the day after is always just damage control
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
