I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
