Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Come back. Shots need mouths.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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