That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
