I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
