In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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