wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Houston, we have a squirter
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
