Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We need to get me chipped asap
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize