I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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