Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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