so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
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Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
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Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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