When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
