so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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