The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
