Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
