I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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