so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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