I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
