Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
