Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize